Family Violence

Family violence is when one person in a family hurts another person in that family. It is also called domestic violence. Another kind of family violence is when one person tries to control another person in a bad way. It might be violence from a husband or a wife. Or it might be violence from a parent or a child, or from brothers and sisters. It could be violence from anyone in that family.

If someone in your family hurts you, maybe they hit you, or kick you, or punch you, or force you into sexual activity with them, that is family violence. And if someone in your family tries to control you, maybe they take away your money, or they stop you from visiting other family, or they talk about hurting you or your children, that is family violence too. And if someone in your family always says bad things to you and tells you that you are no good, that is family violence too. Family violence happens more to women, but sometimes it happens to men too.

*Plain English version adapted by and for the Anglican Diocese of the Northern Territory from 1800RESPECT

The 2021 Synod of the Anglican Church of the Northern Territory said we would try to follow the Ten Commitments for Prevention and Response to Domestic and Family Violence in the Anglican Church of Australia (link).

Synod asked a group of church people to have meetings to help decide how we could do it. The group has translated the Ten Commitments into Plain English for the NT.

We want to work together to make sure everyone in our churches –

• knows what Family Violence is and that it happens in church families

• knows what the Bible says about Family Violence and ways to make things better for our church families

• knows kind words and good ways to help look after each other

• knows how to get more help from service providers

We want to try hard to make sure we only talk about Family Violence in a way that people from all cultures feel safe.

Plain English version adapted by and for the Anglican Diocese of the Northern Territory from the 10 Commitments For Prevention and Responding to Domestic and Family Violence, Anglican Church of Australia

1. The Anglican Church talks about how some people who belong to our church have been hurt by family violence. We feel very sad about that. We feel sorry that sometimes we didn’t do anything to stop that violence. But now we want to help stop family violence.
   
   

2. Our church leaders will work hard to stop that violence from happening. In our church we want everyone, men and women, to be equal. If family violence happens to you, we want to help you.
   
   

3. The Anglican Church always teaches that no one is better than anyone else. We are all equal, so we have to show respect to everyone. We teach that no one should use violence against another person.
   
   

4. Our church teaches that everyone should be good to each other. We must respect other people, and other people should respect us.
   
   

5. Our church mob is made up of lots of different people. There are people with different ages, different genders, and different skin colours. Family violence can be worse for some people than for others. We want to work hard to make sure everyone is equal.
   
   

6. Everything our church does is for Jesus. We want to love others, live at peace, and be fair to everyone. We also want to know about government groups, maybe in community or maybe in the Northern Territory, and work with them to stop family violence.
   
   

7. We want everybody in our church to think the right way about these things, so we will work hard to teach everybody about how to look after each other.
   
   

8. Our church will teach our ministers, leaders and parish councils so that they will know more about family violence, and know how to help people. We will teach them about how to try to stop family violence from happening.
   
   

9. Our ministers and leaders have to make sure they are behaving the right way. There’s a church booklet about the right way for church leaders to behave. It’s called the Anglican Church’s Code of Conduct: Faithfulness in Service. They can read that booklet to make sure they are doing the right things.
   
   

10. Our church will keep looking at these ideas again. We will see if they are working. Maybe we can make them even better.

Police

• If you or someone you know is not safe right now, you should call 000. This is the emergency number.

• In the Northern Territory there are special laws that say people have to tell the police when we know that Family Violence is happening. It is called Mandatory Reporting of Domestic and Family Violence. You can call 131 444 to report Family Violence.

Church

• You can talk to your church leaders or other people at church for help. They should not talk about it with your family and community, but they will need to follow the NT special laws. These laws say that everyone has to report Family Violence when it happens.

• Sometimes church leaders will ask someone else from the Diocese to talk to the person who is hurting you or your family. This is so that your church can care for you.

• You can talk to the Diocese Women’s Pastoral Ministry Worker, Natalie Watson. You can email her at nwatson@ntanglican.org.au or call (08) 8941 7440. Natalie can talk with women about this trouble. Natalie can help women find support from church and from service providers.

• You can also call the diocese helpline (1800 070 511). They are there to talk about how to keep people safe inside our churches. They can talk to you about Family Violence too.

Service providers

There are lots of different services that can help.

A good place to start is with NTCOSS, the Northern Territory Council of Social Services. NTCOSS has a list of services who can help with things like finding accommodation, getting legal aid, counselling, and helping people to change their behaviour.

Domestic, Family & Sexual Violence - NTcommunity

Different training is good for different people.

Faith and Families course at Nungalinya College talks about Family Violence in helpful ways. This training is for Aboriginal people.

Responding to Domestic Violence online course from Ridley College in Victoria has 6 lessons that take about 2 hours each. It is good to do on your own or in a group. This is a free course that anyone can do. https://certificate.ridley.edu.au/courses/responding-to-domestic-and-family-violence

Other Resources

Renew – An Australian Guide for Christian Women Survivors of Domestic Abuse is a book that helps women who have been hurt because of Family Violence. You can buy it online from Anglicare Sydney. It costs $15 plus postage.

Renew - Survivors Guide - Anglicare

Some ways people hurt their family are hidden. But maybe we see something that is a sign that Family Violence is going on. You can read about that. https://www.commongrace.org.au/how_to_find_healing_if_you_are_a_victim_of_abuse

There are other websites that talk about church and Family Violence https://www.saferresource.org.au/

https://www.saferresource.org.au/

Some websites help us to know what to do when someone talks about Family Violence with us https://www.commongrace.org.au/domestic_violence_and_the_australian_church

https://www.commongrace.org.au/how_to_find_healing_if_you_are_a_victim_of_abuse

https://www.eternitynews.com.au/opinion/taking-women-at-their-word-how-to-respond-well/